Whether I know you or not does not matter. You have made up your mind that I think you are crap. Who are you? I don’t know. Who am I? You don’t know. But you have still made up your mind that I, who don’t know you, and whom you don’t know, think you are not much worth. You’re a nothing. Is that paranoia?
Something like that, anyway.
It’s not me, it’s you. Or rather it’s in your mind. What you think I thought, actually never struck me. But then, what I actually think (of you) is of no importance, it is what you have decided to believe I think of you that matters.
Do you think this is fiction? No it is reality. How do I handle it? How to get this person moving? He is knowledgeable, clever, smart, young but he does not believe in it, and he does not believe in himself. And he does not believe in me either, when I say I believe in him. “You can never outperform your own self image’ (Maxwell Maltz) and consequently he cannot achieve his dreams. His paranoia, his lack of self image prevents him from taking action. He’s afraid to choose wrong because he does not really know what he wants to do. That is fair; he is still young.
How to move him forward? He does not dare to take the first little mouse step. It could be in the wrong direction.
He logically understands he has to do something, he can even logically realize he’s a smart guy. But his sub-conscious tells him otherwise. (The Law of Jante)
Good ideas welcome, folks!
Peter:
I remember feeling this way when I was young and beginning my career path. In America in the early 90s times were not dissimilar to how they are now. Jobs were hard to find, especially for people fresh out of college. In fact, if you had no experience (which we didn’t) there was no hope of finding a job. I took some crazy jobs back then. I was scrappy. I listened to no. one. at. all. Ultimately if I failed, I wanted to know I was alone to blame. But if I succeeded– that was a flag I wanted to fly in a parade of ONE.
People don’t like advice. But man, do they need it. Teaching people how to filter advice while calling on their own intuition and instincts seems like a worthy goal.
M.
Thanks Michelle. Yes when we need it the most we are least receptive. It is pretty universal. Well, we don’t give up. It’s actually Ingunn’s client.