Usually when you coach someone, you do it because she or he comes to you and want help to move on. They are motivated, want to grow or move through a transition.
Not so with my current clients. They’re not there because they want to, they’re there because the authorities have sent them or they will lose their benefits.
So, after establishing some form of rapport, how do you move them forward? Into something that requires a self confidence they lack, and lack by a huge margin? A movement that requires trust, a trust they have completely lost. Trust in society, trust in the authorities, trust in any authoritative person including me as a coach. How to move them away from playing the blame game, being stuck in circumstances. (Reading loud “There is a hole in my sidewalk” made no impact, but the “poem” as such is very descriptive of the situation they’re in). Well you first job is to build the trust, and most of all through respect and empathy. Help them out of the hole. Understanding that all this is a protective shell they have built, if for nothing else to survive. And inside there are abilities, there is a will however weak right now, emotions both hard and soft. It is all in there. Be prepared for a flood when the shell cracks.
Understanding their situation can be challenging when their choices are so far from your own choices. How do you make them understand they are responsible for their own choices? Their own lives. You have to take these discussions, but you have to conduct it with care. Move forward with minute steps.
Patience is a virtue, and important. But you also have to balance that with pushing forward. Slowly changing their attitudes. Get them into action. No actions, no reactions, or results if you like.
So after 10 (out of 22) weeks we start seeing results. We get them into jobs. And what is most rewarding: see these people when they occasionally come back to see us (we’re technically responsible for them even though they have a job or works as apprentices to get some work experience). Their attitude, their lit up faces and straightened up backs. That is the most wonderful of it all.
What a marvelous experience for me as a coach to bring with me. This experience will help me succeed with anything within the coaching profession. This is a litmus test.
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